Feeling Needy
Q.
Two weeks ago I broke my wrist while mountain biking. The break was severe and required surgery, and now I have this science fiction device sticking out of my arm. My friends have been great (even my ex) -- taking me out, dressing my wounds, buying me food, washing my hair, etc. However, I'm going stir-crazy. I can't exercise or go to work; I'm resigned to reading, talking on the phone, surfing the Internet, watching videos and taking walks. The thing is, all this inertia is heightening my desire for male companionship beyond what's platonic. My married chiropractor has definitely been flirting with me, but I would never pursue that. My massage therapist has offered to "help me out," since he lives in the neighborhood. I even found myself flirting with the park ranger who helped me right after my accident, even though I was writhing in pain at the time. I have such a need to be held and cared for by a man, and my libido is raging. Should I act on any of these possibilities?
A.
I've been where you are -- only in my case the science fiction device was attached to an ankle. I too had an ex who was lovingly attentive during my ordeal. I too awakened flirtatious "white knight" tendencies in men who it was obvious were not "relationship candidates."
When you literally collide with the realization that you are not invulnerable, it's understandable that the desire to be comforted and caressed kicks in with a libidinous vengeance. Sexuality is a life force, and we are most connected to that force when confronted with our mortality.
Now is a time for self-nurturing (if you get my drift). Take care of yourself and accept help from others -- the kind of help you won't regret in the morning.
Use your enforced "down time" as an opportunity for soul searching: Reflect on the miracles in your life (heck, you survived your accident without permanent injury) and on how you can create new miracles. Discovering that you are vulnerable is both frightening and freeing. Unfortunately you won't live forever. Fortunately you've been granted a second chance to make the most of the time you've got left. Use it well.
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