7 Post-Breakup Pick-Me-Up Tips
It's been months since your breakup and your heart's still in a million pieces? You're finding it difficult to eat (or stop eating), sleep, work or think about anything except "How could he leave ... what's wrong with me?"
If this pathetic picture nails you to a lovesick T, here's advice for checking out of Heartbreak Hotel.
1. Let it out, then let it go. Vent, cry, tell your friends for the 15th time how he worshipped the adorable curl of your upper lip. If you don't let your emotions out, they'll fester inside, and so will the louse's memory. So allow yourself one last good wallow. Then stop. Need some affection? Get a substitute object to cuddle. A cute puppy can go a long way toward helping you forget a guy who was a dog.
2. Retrain your heart. You will truly forget your ex once you can literally see him in a new, hunk-free light. It's called creative visualization -- imagining scenes that you want to happen. Close your eyes and remember negative images, like when he had food dribbling off his chin. Racked with rage at his callous behavior? In your mind's eye (only in your mind's eye) make him walk the plank. That should harmlessly blast away those energy-sapping, venomous emotions.
3. Write a relationship profit-and-loss statement. The end of a romance provides a wonderful time to learn about yourself. Look at your assets. For example, the ability to really be there for someone in a crunch. Examine the minuses -- perhaps you were too trusting of someone who hadn't earned it. The bottom line: Analyze what was right and wrong about your old relationship. It will help you forge a much stronger new one.
4. Form a Saturday night club. Weekends are tough for the newly single. Start calling friends early in the week to make plans for the weekend. Have a standing Saturday night date movie or inline skating date. For the volunteer-minded, Saturday night can be a great time to work at a soup kitchen or crisis hotline. And you'll meet others with big hearts and giving spirits.
5. Meet a fascinating woman: yourself. Do the things you've been dying to try or that you'd put on hold because he disapproved of them. Enroll in that acting class, research a new career, take that trip.
6. Beware the rebound hurdle. Just when you thought it was safe to go out with mascara on (no chance of tearstreaks), wham! You're back in love. But try to see this new man for who he is, not as a cure-all. It's like applying balm to a chapped heart -- temporarily soothing, but you don't cure lovesickness by replacing the love object. You've got to really be over your ex before you move on. Which brings us to ...
7. Close the door. Don't fall into yo-yo love. Let it be over. If he keeps calling to say you should give it one more chance, or that he has someone new but wants to stay friends, don't bite. Cut him loose and celebrate the new, improved, I won't-settle-for-anything-less-than-a-great-guy you.