Orgasms Alone, But Not With Husband
Q.
I am not having orgasms when I have sex with my husband, but I am able to have them on my own. My sister is having the same problem. What are we doing wrong?
A.
Perhaps the question should be, what are your husbands doing wrong? Sometimes a woman is able to achieve an orgasm through masturbation but not through intercourse because, during masturbation, she is doing exactly what is the most pleasurable for her. You might try telling your husband what feels good to you. Engage in more foreplay. Many, many women need more foreplay -- often including oral or manual (hand) stimulation -- in order to have an orgasm.
I think much of the time we are either too shy or too fearful of hurting the male ego to speak up and say "I need you to do x, y or z." Your husband is not a mind-reader, and unless you tell him what you like and how and when you like it, he'll never know!
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